Domestic violence begins as abuse in childhood against the same victim, a new author asserts. “Whether as abuse or neglect, child maltreatment mangles the personality and sets up a victim mentality for a lifetime,” says Dr. Heyward Ewart in an unsettling new book.
“This altered state of mind about one’s self radiates so well that it becomes bait to abusers, especially those looking for a long-term partner they can dominate or bat around. The world is full of predators, who have an uncanny ability to spot a prospect from far away.
“Just as a hawk floats around high in the air and hunts for wounded prey, human abusers adjust their sights to children, teens, and women who have already been damaged by someone else’s pleasure or aggression,” he insists. "AM I BAD? Recovering from Abuse" is now in the hands of a national publisher. Meanwhile, he offers it as an ebook on an internet web page and encourages support groups to reproduce it.
“Any abused child takes in the permanent message that ’I caused it to happen. It’s my fault. There’s something dark and bad in me that made the other person treat me that way’.
“These devastating beliefs do not go away. Just as initials carved in the bark of a tree, they grow with time and become more noticeable,” Ewart says. “The persona given off by prior victims becomes an advertisement.”
He says that even when a domestic violence victim is sheltered and gets away from her abuser, she will typically go to another one, worse than the first. “The reason is that the first bully fortified the original message that she deserves nothing better. “Tragically, women tend to seek out partners who are no better than what these ladies think they deserve,” Ewart says.
His book contains a test for concealed child abuse that yields answers even by children who have been direly threatened not to talk. It also has indicators of dangerous students, dangerous employees, and unrecognized domestic abuse.
Dr. Heyward Ewart, III, is a psychologist and active priest with 35 years of commitment to victims of abuse and other violence, both males and females. He has spoken widely on these issues and has served as an expert witness in several states. He is a diplomate of the American College of Forensic Examiners and a former member of the White House Conference on Families. His book, "AM I BAD? Recovering from Abuse", is available from Loving Healing Press, Amazon.com, and some 20 other online bookstores. Fr. Ewart is also president/academic dean of St. James the Elder Theological Seminary, an online distance-education institution offering certificates to doctorates plus honorary doctorates. The seminary offers full programs at less cost than for a single course elsewhere.